Why is my teen so self conscious?
From around 12 years old Adolescent Egocentrism emerges. This is when teenagers can’t distinguish between their perceptions of what others think about them and what people actually think in reality. This emerges in two ways:
Imaginary Audience - this is the teenagers belief that others are always watching and evaluating them. “Don’t drop me close to the classroom, don’t kiss me goodbye, leave me alone everyone is watching.”
Personal Fable - this is the teenagers belief that their experiences and emotions are unique, more awful and more amazing than anybody else and experienced only by him/her. “No one knows what it is like to be me, no one will ever understand how much I hate math.”
Tools for Parents
Find time to connect with your child outside of their everyday routine. Use these shared moments to support you when the egocentric teen emerges.
Expose your child to different experiences, worldview and cultural beliefs. This will expand their thought processes and make them feel less alone in their experiences and feelings
Step into your own memories and experiences of adolescence in order to truly relate to how they are experiencing the world. Empathy will help regulate your responses to situations.
You may not agree with your child's behaviour and that can be expressed and appropriate boundaries set. Use unconditional love to ground these boundaries. It makes them more powerful.